literature

Time For Miracles

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     He uncurled, and looked at me, still letting his tears flow freely, "Hold me… Please…  I'm so sorry… I'm scared… I don't know what happened… It wasn't you." I had a hard time believing it wasn't me, but I was quick to go over, grab him, and hold him close to me. I kissed his cheek, "Don't be scared..." I knew it was empty, and it wouldn't help, but I felt the need to say it.
     "This has never h-happened… But I know the reason why it did… It wasn't you… It was thinking of all the people…" I felt terrible. I shouldn't have said it. There might have been people, I had just wanted to warn him.
"I need to explain this to you now… Remember how I said my mom was a wack job..? Well, I am a little myself… I have overactive thoughts… Like, they won't leave me alone no matter what. Sometimes they go away. Sometimes I break down because they give me such a headache. They scream at me to do things I don't want to do… I didn't want to scream at you like I did… I didn't mean to say those things… I said them, but it wasn't me saying them… It's like I'm being controlled by them…" I could totally understand that, my other side did that. He pulled his hair a little, and I grabbed his hands, "Don't." I didn't mean to sound so stern. But I didn't want him hurting himself anymore than he already had.
"Adam… I didn't mean a thing I said… I don't even remember half of it…" I waited for him to finish, even though he stopped for quite some time, "Don't say you're a monster. You're not. I'm the monster here. Can't you tell..? I think you should leave me… You don't deserve someone like me… You don't deserve a loon… You deserve so much more than someone like me…" My ears got hot. yes it was scary, but I was beginning to understand it now. I swallowed down my reply, knowing he wasn't quite finished.
"I had fought a breakdown like that for a long time… I needed to let it out. I just wish you weren't the one that had to be here watching me… I just… Thinking about all of those people watching us… My dad could find out where I am and s-s-s-send me home… My uncle could find me... What if he found me Adam..? What if one of those people out there wanted to kill me..? What if they found me..? Maybe I'm just really paranoid… I can't help it…" He paused again, and took a deep breath, "Do you want me to leave..?"
I had to sort out everything he said in my mind, something I was struggling with, as my own over acting thoughts were, well, over acting.
"I understand Landon. I understand that. I've hurt Tommy, as you've seen, I've broken things in my house. I've screamed at Sauli, and just about everybody. It gets to be a large burden... I understand... I'm so glad you didn't really mean what you said... I was afraid you got mad cause I lied... I was having a lot of trouble with my other side... he wanted me to hurt you... You're right. I don't deserve somebody like you. But its not because you're insane. Its because you're amazing. Thats something I really shouldn't have. I can ruin amazing things pretty fast. You aren't a loon... you just have problems. like me." I took a deep breath, fighting the thoughts, Tell him you want him to leave. "I do want you to leave." I gasped, oh gosh. That slipped out. I wasn't watching as carefully as i should have. "Landon no! I didn't mean that!"
I started crying again, and felt sick, "I don't want you to leave. I don't. I'm so sorry. That shouldn't have come out. That was the other side... Listen. If you don't want people to know who you are, then just tell me babe. I have ways of avoiding that kind of stuff." I smiled a little down at him. I wanted to see him smile, even if it meant forcing an awkward smile onto my own face. "We need to get home. I need to clean up your hand, and then I need to call the rental company. And don't worry about the stupid window. It was dirty anyways." I shrugged casually, like it was no big deal. I really didn't care if the window was smashed. Id have to pay a hefty fine, but Landon was ok now. That was all that mattered.
Getting a little happier? XD
Connecting piece [link] by :iconmacehsquirrel:
© 2012 - 2024 TazAndMe
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AnnMartini's avatar
Dude do you do like point commission for stories? :3